【Self-growth】2 actions unconfident people should take

There are many ways to grow yourself. Even if you think that many of them are correct, it is not easy to actually take action. But, of course, nothing starts unless you take action.

So, as a first step to take action, I will introduce 2 easy ways to get started, along with notes.

I myself am still in the growing stage, but by telling everyone in this way, I will be able to incorporate it into myself, so I hope that I can learn and grow together.

2 actions unconfident people should take

Change your mindset

Changing your mindset means, in other words, changing the definition of everything you see.

With that in mind, even if you don’t feel happy or confident in yourself right now, these can easily be changed depending on your thinking.

However, in reality it may not be so easy to change your mindset.

So, the first thing you can start with is to change the environment where you are.

Not many people can stay alone in their room and try to change their mindset. So, changing the environment where you are is an opportunity to change your way of thinking.

For example, you want to stop negative thinking and live more positively. If you think so, try to associate only with people who have a positive mindset.

People often say, “You can’t change others,” because many try to change others by denying them.

What if your thoughts are denied and you are forced to think differently that you should be? I don’t think there are many people who accept it obediently and try to change their minds. I think that’s because I’m unconsciously reluctant to change myself by external forces.

But what if you were told something different from your own thoughts due to affirmation or approval?

For example, people around you who hear it when you do a self-assessment say:

You are better. You have this ability, and this is your attraction. Your self-esteem is too low.

At first glance, it may seem like a denial, but don’t you feel that you have received more affirmation and approval? As before, it is by external force, but in this case it is not a pain to change your mind, but rather you will be able to do it with a positive feeling.

In this way, you can be influenced by just changing the people you associate with, and you can change your negative way of thinking positively.

Changing the environment may seem difficult, but it’s not.

If you can’t change your place of residence or work right away, you can start by changing the people you meet or the scope of your actions. If you change the environment and put yourself in an environment that affirms and approves, you will be able to change your way of thinking.

Let me give you another example. Suppose you want to start something new.

What if the 10 people you talked about it denied it? “It can’t work, it’s unprecedented, it’s wrong”. Can you still stick to yourself when you are told all that? Of course, some people can do it, but what about the reality in many cases?

On the other hand, what if the 10 people who consulted gave you affirmation and approval? “It’s a great idea, you can do it, don’t be afraid and go for it”. Wouldn’t it give you confidence?

Even if the content of the consultation is exactly the same, you can see that the person (environment) who told it has a great influence on your thoughts and actions after that.

People who want to raise their self-affirmation, who want to feel happy, who find it easy or difficult to take on challenges, can change their way of thinking by changing the environment.

Be aware of the direction your mind is facing

There are two directions of mind, oneself and the other.

When talking to someone or thinking about someone, be aware of which direction your mind is facing.

If the direction of your mind is for the other person, that means you are giving it to the other person. Then, the other person will also want to give you, which leads to building a good relationship.

That doesn’t mean you can’t direct your mind at yourself. When you are facing yourself or thinking alone, you will need to direct your mind at yourself depending on the situation. What I’m telling you here is the direction of your mind when communicating with someone.

For example, suppose you’re talking to someone and you say, “You should do this.” as advice. If the direction of your mind at that time is to yourself, the person potentially feels it. And the person might feel like you actually don’t care about it or you are even thinking it wouldn’t be fun to see good results in the person’s way.

On the other hand, if you point your mind at the person and make the same statement, the person will feel that you are thinking for the person and saying that, and will want to accept it.

You may not know, when you talk to people, they will potentially feel that your mind is pointing at you or your mind is really pointing at them, and depending on the result, they decide whether to accept your words.

If you think about it, I think everyone has experience. When you hear a word from your boss or a word from your parents or friends, sometimes you accept and sometimes you don’t. The difference is that you potentially feel the direction of their mind.

Therefore, it is important to make it a habit to always ask yourself whether direction of your mind is to you or to the other person.

Until you get used to it, you may find it difficult to think about it while talking. In that case, I think it’s good to look back later on which direction your mind was facing at that time. By repeating this, you will naturally be able to communicate while knowing the direction of your mind.

【IMPORTANT】 Do not blame yourself for not being perfect

Some people blame themselves for not being able to do things perfectly because they are so serious. As with the direction of mind, when they look back and they realize that the direction was to themselves, they start blaming themselves for why they did so.

But that’s wrong. This is because what mentioned so far about changing the environment to change the way of thinking and being aware of the direction of the mind are the means to grow and be happy, not the purpose.

It doesn’t make sense to hurt yourself by the means you use to grow yourself. It is necessary to reflect on it, but if you blame yourself for something you couldn’t do, you may stop trying to move forward. It’s like you end up injured and rather harmed your health by exercising to be healthy. It’s totally silly.

The more serious people are more likely to fall into such a situation. It is always important to keep in mind that you should not confuse purpose with means.

Also, be aware that a person who denies himself too much will take away the energy of the other person.

Try to imagine. How tired is the time spent with people who make only negative statements. Not only you will get tired, but you will even feel negative.

On the other hand, how about spending time with people who have a high self-affirmation and people who think positively. Even if the content of the story is not important, you would feel that your feelings are brightened and you are receiving energy.

Little by little is enough. Let’s start with what you can do.

The value of things is that there are people to be happy with it.

Even if it doesn’t seem special, if anyone is pleased with it,

That’s worth it.

By pointing your mind to the others,

Your words become valuable to them.